Oct 17

My Wedding

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Recently, my husband and I celebrated our seventh anniversary. So much has happened in seven years; but it only takes a heartbeat to return to that blessed day, and feel the spirit, love, and peace that enveloped us. It was one of the most sacred days of my life alongside giving birth to my daughter.

I married an introvert, and as such we truly did have the most introverted wedding possible. We were the only ones present. Our ceremony took place in Sedona, Arizona, beneath the sunlight with Cathedral Rock in the backdrop. While I felt the presence of our family and friends in spirit, marrying this way felt like the only way for me. It allowed me to be more present, to focus on exactly what I needed to focus on…the fusion of our love into one life.

Our wedding was magically captured on video, so our family and friends were able to enjoy it. And I appreciated their support in understanding that our choice to marry this way was honoring our authenticity as a couple, not a ploy to exclude or hurt people.

If there is anything I want to teach my daughter, it is to be true to her truest self, what feels “right” in the core of her being, what will help her transmute her love into its greatest possibility.

 

Oct 15

Introversion and New Motherhood

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As I blog my journey, I can only attest to my experience as an introvert. Parts may ring true with other introverts. Snippets may even ring true with extroverts. As I’ve mentioned before, there is a continuum. I can only imagine that there are pros and cons for both introvert and extrovert along motherhood’s journey.

Much to my surprise at the onset, I found a few things about motherhood in alignment with introversion. Because I was so at ease and accustomed to being alone, the period wherein you are cooped up with a newborn wasn’t as stressful as I imagined it to be. In fact, I was able to place myself in a womb with my newborn, and so the first few weeks (despite the sleep deprivation) did feel magical.

I have spoken to extroverts, and do know that this sort of isolation period can be difficult, and an extrovert may feel the loss of their former lives on a deeper level than the introvert. Of course, this isn’t an absolute. But I can see how someone who needs that outside stimulation and connection could have a more difficult time adjusting to the cocoon period with a newborn.

 

Oct 11

Unpack your Anger

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An introvert has the propensity to internalize anger, at times.  It’s difficult not to do so.  American culture seems better suited to extroversion, and if you don’t fit that mold or even try to explain yourself outside of it, you may be labeled a misanthrope, a narcissist, rude, cold, selfish, and the list goes on for those who truly don’t understand the nature of introversion.

Letting go of anger is crucial to an introvert’s wellbeing.  Since we spend so much time in quiet contemplation, not so much focusing on ourselves (but surprising perhaps to extroverts, oftentimes considering others), one must insure that internal landscape isn’t saturated with negativity, anger being so destructive.

Close your eyes, and imagine the anger within as scorching lava.  Allow it to flow through you, even rage if you must.  And then once you’ve acknowledged it, owned it as legitimate, force it into a ball of lava that you now hold in your hands.  Feel its heat and discomfort.   Acknowledge that it isn’t you.  And then imagine standing atop a mountain and thrusting it down with force. 

Release it.  Watch it fall. Witness it burn elsewhere if you must. 

Just let go.  Retreat once again into yourself, and take some deep breaths.  Your breaths should feel cooler.

 

Oct 10

Sand Play

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I married an introvert. And that introvert has a spirited inner child, a sensitive soul, and a lively internal landscape. While there are pros and cons to an introvert/introvert pairing, I like to focus on the pros.

We play together in our unique richly embroidered landscape—both of us creative types (although he’s a creative type stuck in an engineer’s body). When we took a trip to North Carolina before our daughter’s birth, we played for hours in the sand. In doing so, we planned the decoration of her room, our imaginations abounding with the tiniest details.

We met in the summer, and it was playful and shiny and beautiful. We wanted to offer that spirit to our daughter, and so named her Summer Mary. She is a reflection of our first love that has grown over time into our endless love, our endless summer.

An introvert needs to find the time to play. Otherwise, life grows far too serious.

So play, play, play….as much as possible!!!

 

Oct 03

The Imagination

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If you are faced with a social event not to your liking, or must go on a day when your energy feels depleted, the imagination is a good tool to use.

Rather than to focus on everything negative that it could bring, imagine yourself in the setting and finding something positive—perhaps a colorful meaningful interaction, seeing someone wonderful you haven’t seen in ages, seeing something new…that may even spark your imagination if you’re a creative type—and then feel within your body the happiness or wellbeing it may produce.

Then imagine the event coming to an end, returning home and finding a peaceful space for quiet reflection, unwinding.

To imagine the serenity after the flurry of activity is key.



Sep 30

Missing

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Motherhood opens you up in new ways, and matures you in ways I couldn’t have imagined. It is a new chapter to embark upon with new discoveries, and it can be a wonder.

But there are times when you feel as if you are missing, that you must sidestep yourself to facilitate the development of another life. There are times I miss the old me, and especially the time to breathe and be still. Usually, I’ll look at a photo from long ago of myself in a place I loved, and just let that memory fill me up.

And then I take stock in the now, and its fresh story. I will return to myself one day, and this is my time to be a mother to a toddler with all its fun, frenzy, and fatigue. I know one day I’ll look back at the photos of myself with my young daughter and feel the same wistfulness and longing. Such is life.



Sep 27

Five Signs You’re Dealing with an Introvert

A toucan perched on a branch in Brazil.

1.  As you inch forward in conversation, the introvert inches away.

2.  After a set period of time, there is dead silence on the other end of your phone conversation, or a speedy closure to the conversation.

3.  As more people enter an elevator (or any crowded enclosed space), the introvert makes an excuse to exit.

4.  The introvert may zone out in conversation, or appear to be somewhere else. They are experiencing stimulus overload, and need alone time.

5.  You receive more e-mails than phone calls.



Sep 26

Unpack True Colors

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In autumn, the leaves know they must reveal their truest color before their fall.

Each is true to what is—revealing its unique imprint, story, shade.

Be true to your truest colors. Like the leaf that bears its jeweled soul, allow your story to bleed through, and then fall into the hands of those who are the most receptive, the most loving towards your authenticity.

The earth catches the leaves as they fall.

Allow those who fully accept you, to catch you in all times, especially when you fall.

 

Sep 24

Simpatico, Sunlight, & Serenity

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Beneath the sunlight, amidst the trees, her little face pressed up against mine—it is simpatico—mom and daughter in love within the silence and beauty of nature.

Finding these moments—however short, however long—is so restorative. Stress melts away, and only inner peace, abounding love remains.

From the moment of Summer’s birth, I visited spots regularly wherein we both felt serenity, and well-being.

 

Sep 22

Autumn Solitude

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You may be an introvert if…traveling solo along an autumnal pathway would feel exhilarating; rather than a lonely venture.



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